Men Speak | Sol® Ser•Men #131
Chapter 1
Kenneth's Original Title:
Solar Sermon #224
Published Title:
a coded eagle transmission ... . ...
Sol / sun (in spanish) +
Ser / to be (verb) in Spanish +
Men / Eagle (in Kaqchikel language) +
12/29/24 is Kin #131 in the Mayan Tzolk'in Calendar =
Sol® Ser•Men #131
Little People Comment:
"Solar Sermon, Ken?
...or Mer•Man Ser•Men?"
Of the few who open this email or land on this page, only a few will read this/these in entirety and that's fine, as this is for the proverbial 1%, which may just be me. Like many of my expressions, a ceremonial opportunity awaits, if you so choose and consent to such.
You are invited to make your fave drink, light a candle, get cozy, and join me on this journey...i suggest reading this on a larger screen than that of a phone. if you received this by email, i suggest you click over to my site and read it there, as there's already been edits. This creature is alive; and the editing continues regardless of linear time.
This began as a single (very long) article and the crafting process revealed that it was to be chapter'ed. This series is rich and decadent—and too much at once could make one ill or result in premature departure.
As the Swiss Physician Paracelsus said, "All things are poison and nothing is without poison; only the dose makes a thing not poison."
So as not to make this into a poison, the dosing has been considered and adjusted.
i'm grateful for your presence with me, here and now; truly.
If and how you choose to engage with these articles is your decision. Just because i suggest lighting a candle, doesn't mean any of those who read will do so. Further, there is an orchestration to the timing of release; which is still revealing to me.
Whether you join along or not, i'm on the very demanding journey of becoming, which this article is both a catalyst for and product of…it is the process of making; creation; and life that i am being with, in the way this unique being demands. What is to be is still a mystery to me.
i'm not done; it is not done...much is still to be written and revealed.
The fact is, regardless of my suggestions, once i publish and hit send, this becomes a 'build your own adventure' opportunity.
This series is an alchemical process, in which "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts" (thank you Aristotle). Meaning if you only read chapter 1, the alchemy will be different than if you read chapter 1+2 and so on.
i'm holding the voltage of the whole—and there's a high current that is flowing through my wiring right now—as the parts are crafted and reveal themselves to me as the chapters. i am the alchemist, the alchemy, and the result of the alchemy.
...and this is, fittingly, an initiation care of the Eagle Clan.
So, i'll leave it up to you how you engage; for myself there's only one choice...
the choice-less choice.
all in.
"Who am I, says the I that shrouds the I AM that is, was, and forever will be."
My intention in writing this article, which i began on the evening of 12/29/24, is to respond to the calling and guidance to reveal.
To provide an opportunity to view; and to let be seen (as much as is available in this moment) the ornately carved man known as Kenneth—and thru the seeing, provide you with a glimpse of the I AM that is, was, and forever will be; the great universal I that indwells within each of us.
"12/29/2024 is an auspicious day for countless reasons. In the past 24 hours alone there have been 18 M and 1 X class solar flares...quite potent solar happenings these past days and weeks.
Today marks both the completion and beginning of a new Solar Cycle for me, Kenneth. The 29th of December is the date that is celebrated as my day of entry into this earthly plane.
On this auspicious day, i've been called to share some about myself...and i honestly don't yet know where this is going to take me, as it's truly mysterious, aside from a few points i'm specifically called to share about."
I AM surrendered to this birthing process and portal; and to the alchemy and initiation born of fire.
So, here we go, welcome aboard.
Together, like the Eagle, let's fly.
The best is yet to come.
... . ...
I AM here, because of an inner calling to reveal the shining light of the Self whom i've come to know through the deepest relationship of my life; the one with life, where all the happenings of life, is Self in conversation with Self.
For more than 20 years my life has been dominated by rigorous, intensive and scrupulous inner-work, self-discovery, awakening, and embodiment in service to building and anchoring a foundation of peace within and without; as the basis of whatever else is to be experienced and expressed in this One Life.
Amongst many treasures, i steward a library, which is a living tapestry of tales and stories, any of which could be shared at any given moment in service to those whom have gathered to listen and receive the gifts available from my years of intensive and ongoing radical phenomenological initiations and rites of passage.
My life has been, in the past and until now, at least a 9 layered coconut cake of multi-dimensional inner/outer life happenings—sprinkled with sweet perplexing paradox; staggering depths of enigma; and strange binds and holds of all sorts...and it seems hard work pays off and that there is light at the end of the tunnel, as something new and different is taking shape.
hallelujah.
Beyond the living library, there's the perpetual alchemy of being...
i aim to meet and greet my Self anew through this process of exploration through writing and the sharing that results; and in the process receive the gift of delight and marvel of beholding the uniquely architected living alchemical cauldron known as Kenneth.
On the subject of revealing...i've been so deeply immersed in the depths of the waters of life—at times doing everything (with the power/resources i did have) not to drown—that i've not necessarily had the space, bandwidth, inspiration or available resources required to actually share even a tiny fraction of what could be shared...it was more about the next stroke and the next and the next...and to a degree still is, though there's difference, albeit very subtle.
i too have grappled with this very juxtaposition for a long while; the desire to show up and to share; and yet an inherent restriction to pursue that desire, for life necessitated my presence in the living, tending, navigating, and 'figuring out' how to simply be with the sheer scope and magnitude of the depth of my experience.
Paradoxically, i've shared (and share) when appropriate, which most often has occurred in direct experiences/engagements with others as/when i've heard the call to share whatever was poking at me to be shared...often this was simply the natural emergent sharing that happens thru various contexts of relating...and however deep there was always manifold more depth...beyond.
Life is now inviting me, demanding of me, through my own evolutionary process, to step up; to pull back the curtains and to reveal more of my Self—and slowly but surely, brick by brick, i'm building the structures within/without to do so. So as to be of service to the individuals and communities whom i am here to serve, as a pioneer and leader; for that is what is natural for me, regardless of how far i may drift into the seas of solitudinal Self-discovery, exploration, and inner-adventure.
It's not more comfortable to avoid the call to show up, as much as it's familiar to avoid the call to show up in a way that differs from what has been. i'm not necessarily seeking to be in position of power or to lead and yet, Life and Eagle Speak—& i am attentively listening and responding, for it is more painful not to.
...and that is why i'm here and 'in it' because it is what is required of me.
i speak from direct experience and if i haven't directly experienced something then i won't speak about it. it's then beyond my ken.
It was the direct experience of navigating what was (and is) quite often an overwhelmingly nuanced life, which inspired this section from my website.
You're welcome to read all, some, or none of it.
Like others, my inner experience has been so deep, dark, complex and divergent from most (commonly all) around me, that at times (most of my life) the raw substance of my experience was either just beyond language; beyond my skill to articulate; or my ability to translate to others. Because of this, only a fraction of what could be shared, could be shared.
...and then theres the good ol' nervous system and safety and belonging (or lack thereof) and trauma/wiring; and the impact of everything that happened and is happening—from the beginning to present—on one's physiology and to what degree they can or can't access the physiology that is required, necessitates and is a pre-requisite for one's ability to actually fucking speak...to literally access the bio-mechanic design features that allow for one to use the voice box to utter sound, using language, that is comprehensible by others...and then what about shame, from within or without and it's impact on one's voice?
This paragraph could be it's own essay.
i have a knack for expression and writing, despite my own limitations, which are real; a skill i continue to hone and refine, so as to increase my ability to bridge and connect from deeper and vaster dimensions of Self...to give voice to 'what else?' and 'what more?'
Regardless, what i share is but the tip of the massive iceberg in the infinite ocean of Self. There's always more; more nuance; more detail; more layers; more dimension; more language; more, more, more.
...and there's so much i've not and don't have language for...and the ache and pain of that now fuels the exploration of new pathways of expression.
This ongoing exploration of translating raw energy and pure awareness into the language of form is what has inspired my exploration of sound-craft and poetry; with the flutes, didgeridoo, voice, and various audio expressions (and there's far more that i have yet to share/post).
Silence
Silence too is my friend
sometimes less is more.
Silence speaks,
and it says....
My truth—and i certainly didn't always believe this, which made life 1,000x more difficult—is that everything has always been perfect; and all that was required was available, for what could be expressed and lived at the time.
The dams are coming down and the rivers are flowing again, within, after aeons of stagnation; and this article series is a result and confirmation of that very fact.
I AM the flowers that flourish along the river bank, bathed in the nutrients life intended for me to receive.
Who i've become is the man that can go on this specific journey, and has access to the resources required to do so. It is because of my rigorous cleansing/clearing and rewiring practices and lifestyle; and devotional tending of the waters and waterways within that i am now available for this journey.
I AM available to sing/write into being whatever this particular child of mine is to be, which is beyond my knowing—and it will certainly be something beautiful and unique that has never been, as is always the case when one is living in the spontaneous; and ever emergent mystery of life anew.
i'm doing everything i can to narrow the gap; between the experience of the alchemy and the result of the alchemy...and perhaps it's the design of the mystery for the pot to be covered for periods of time...so as to contain the creation until it is ready to be served.
Who truly knows what is happening in the cauldron when it's covered?
— Let's pause for a deep breath or two —
One......... and .......... two..........
i've been told countless times on my journey—many times from those closest and dearest to me—that i take up too much space...classic...and yet, true...that said, does the infinite take up too much space? Does God take up too much space? Does the Cedar or Oak tree take up too much space?
Of course there's nuance to such space-taking statement...and again, wild, wet and messy shit storms, doing my best to get through the initiation of a lifetime, prepping me for the next one...impacting in various ways those around me, while also doing my best to minimize the impact and shrapnel...all the while knowing that i am serving, in the most divinely orchestrated way, even and especially when it's not yet and maybe never will be apparent to those around me how...
That is living in the fucking paradox my friends; and it's a strenuous and burdensome responsibility that most often remains hidden in plain sight. While everyone else is being celebrated such a role most often leads to being ostracized.
i take accountability for my mess—and impact on others—i acknowledge that for a long time i simply did not have the internal architecture in place to hold myself in my experience without spilling over onto others. In that way i did take up too much space and was 'too much'.
i was too much for me.
Life was too much for me.
f
That said, i've become rather talented at ship maintenance and sealing leaks :) so as to ensure sea-worthiness for whatever the next passage may bring or require of me and my vessel.
times are different, i am different, this vessel is different. Ashe.
I'm grateful for all those who've danced with me...your willingness to receive me at the depth you had the capacity to, your kindness, compassion, care, presence, love...and willingness to swim with me through my stuff; and the stuff of relating. The family, mentors, teachers, healing service providers, friends, partners, and others who weave(d) with me when they did at the various stages of the never-ending spiralic journey.
I’ve done my best to 'clean-up' and the fact there may be mess that i’m not aware of or have not accounted for relationally, is the school grounds for self-compassion. Paradoxically all is accounted for and held within the One Life, as all is Divinely Orchestrated and that includes the stuff that does not 'make sense'.
"What i don't have the capacity to contain now, becomes the mess i need to clean up later; that is if i take responsibility for clean up."
To increase capacity is to minimize the need clean up later.
"The more i can hold the less i'll be prone to drops"
...and sometimes the 'drops' are exactly what is necessary to rise 'ups'.
Rising up and 'cleaning up' is, in my experience, a lifelong process that demands one to upgrade and update the software coding and hardware wiring, so as to increase the coherence of the architecture that contains/embodies refined light.
Meaning in the process of evolving how Self is assembled one will increase their capacity to hold/harness and channel the current of life, mana, chi and in doing close the gap to minimize the mess that needs later clean up.
As the gap closes there's less and less to clean up, until nothing remains, but a fortified foundation upon which life is built.
That all said, this is my space and i can take up as much as i desire and choose; in whatever way i choose; this is my container of expression.
i welcome you here, truly. i welcome you here with open arms; and you're invited to go on this journey, but only if you consent.
If you do not consent, blessings on your chosen journey. i only want for you what you want for yourself and if that's not this journey, then enjoy the one you choose.
On my Somatic Soulutions site i share this as an introduction:
Perhaps no one other than myself has asked this question...
.and yet i also know from various circles and conversations over the years that many healers and those in the healing arts (especially those of the shamanic variety) have pondered this question for themselves at some point on the long and winding journey to show up in the world in a role of service.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are Ken to "assist the ancient ones"?
Who do you think you are Ken to assist ‘old souls’ of all ages; from all walks of life; whom are navigating in and through the liminal waters of divinely orchestrated circumstantial constellations of initiation?
Who do you think you are Ken to usher the ancient ones through the birth process orchestrated by the organizational intelligence of life—to the shores of the life that beckons?
...from where does your authority come to do any of this?
Such questions require context.
For example, even when i lived for 3-months in spring '24 in solitude and essentially isolated; in a cute renovated stone cottage; in an extremely rural area of S. France, i was still assisting the ancient ones and assisting all of life (and land).
This cottage you see below is surrounded by and in the largest (second growth) Acacia forest in Europe. The original forest was clear cut to provide the wood required for scaffolding of the shafts and drifts of the the now abandoned and decommissioned MASSIVE coal mine that's beneath the forest.
The house i dwelled in was the former 'dining hall' for the employees of the mines. Suffice to say, my presence there was orchestrated by life for a specific collaborative healing process/initiation of which my entire life prior had prepared me for.
In this way, as is always the case, 'my authority' to serve came from life itself...a phenomenological validation that i and my 'skill set'/medicine bag were precisely the source thru which source could re(source) the people and land of this place.
Life cherry picked and orchestrated the entire thing; and it was a deep dark, dusty, and at times nearly suffocating psycho-emotional descent into places and spaces that required presence.
There was no light at the end of the tunnel. i had to access the light and bring the light by becoming the light.
You know what is made of carbon?
Coal.
You know what else is made of carbon?
Diamond.
To exit the hell of the coal mine, i had to transfigure carbon.
To bring light where there was only dark,
i had to become crystalline.
i rooted and rose—deep gratitude to the Roses for their assistance—to the occasion and both completed the ceremony orchestrated by life—and made it out alive, with my psyche in tact.
Here's a taste of the vibe of that experience. Make sure the audio is unmuted.
Note: I have a very potent flute track i recorded minutes before leaving the land to board a train to leave France, which i have yet to post.
i know this thru direct experience validated and confirmed by direct experience.
Being, here, now on Earth and ”simply” living can be a complex experience; and is itself a great act of service to all of life.
Being anywhere, regardless of what one is doing, is an act of service.
Breathing is an act of service to life.
Each breath a potential prayer, declaration, statement of intent, acknowledgement.
In my estimation, it comes down to this.
One must truly know who one is, to show up in such a world in such a divinely designated way; and that requires a journey of initiation where life itself is the credentialing authority...and where it is thru your intimate and ongoing phenomenological conversation with life that you, and you alone, know and feel thru direct experience, when you are qualified for the role life is asking you to step into. Bold statement and it is for those whom it is for. Read that again.
You can't do, who you can't be.
Being requires re(source) and doing requires capacit(y)ance.
That's deep ain't it?
i've had to navigate my way out of my unique version of hell to live...and it's been a long and arduous stormy journey through inner, outer, lower, middle, and upper worlds of wet, wild, and messy shit storms...depression, despair, terror, fear, insecurity, suicidal thoughts, sorrow, shame, grief, anxiety, anger, worry, neediness, self-pity, hopelessness; name it, i've tasted it; i've fasted on it; i've apprenticed with.
Initiation after initiation, since when? Before i knew about before and after.
Life is the initiation; and yet not all who live are initiated.
Storm thru storm, i navigated—and as life would have it, i would become the I of the storm...for I AM the sailor, the navigator, the ship, the sea and the storm.
This embodied experience of navigating out of my uniquely crafted version of hell to live, is one of the many validators of my authority, even if it's only—and only is a lot in this case—Self-referencing authority. For someone to truly know Oneself is a rare feat in these times in my opinion; observation; and experience.
My journey has resulted in seeing, knowing, loving, and cherishing the extraordinary man I AM at equal depth to the at times seemingly bottomless hell i've had to navigate out of.
I'll say that again. My journey has resulted in seeing, knowing, loving, and cherishing the extraordinary man I AM at equal depth to the at times seemingly bottomless hell i've had to navigate out of.
This is, a credential in these times on earth..
and credentialed or not, i know who I AM; infinite and eternal.
As far as i've descended i've ascended; in equal measure and magnitude. Whatever depth i've been brought to, i was required to Self-presence at that depth...only to be brought to the next dimension of depth; again and again and...and i'm humble enough to acknowledge there are depths i've yet to taste,
as well as new heights of joy, delight, ease, love, pleasure, ecstasy and bliss—and all that simply was not yet available to be experienced.
Depth is not something to fear, but a teacher to be welcomed.
With depth comes pressure and it is pressure that forms diamonds. It is through these countless passages that i've found the rhythm of my diamond heart.
The only way thru is and was to locate Self in whatever strange and foreign waters i, the person/ality, found myself in.
How?
Thru deeper trust and surrender than was required at the prior depth...deeper surrender into the water, the currents, the wind, earth, fire—and the organizing intelligence of life. Absolute Trust in the Mother who cradles all of Life.
In this manner, every passage, was, is and has been and opportunity to discover more of the (em)power(ment) of who I AM beyond the circumstances and conditions, which serve to dismantle the reference points and structures of the false Self.
It's not that i was ever looking for power, but power results thru the alchemy.
...and now i, like the great celestial serpent, quake awake and rise from the rocky rim of grim where sea floor goes no more...and it's only just the beginning...
the best is yet to come.
Rigorous training and preparation for what is to come; training organized and supervised by my greatest teacher,
Life.
Thank you.
What a journey.
And there you have it, that's a wrap on Chapter 1!
If you read this in entirety, i commend you for sticking with it! i'll be sending out the next chapter tomorrow. i suggest you burn some sage, close your eyes, breathe, and move your body to digest and integrate. Below is a track for you to listen to while you do all, some, or none of that.
P.S. – for those curious, in the next chapter we head to the lands of the Maya, where we'll dive into the Tzolk'in Calendar and Maya timekeeping.
P.P.S – if inspired, you're absolutely welcome to share this with soul kin.
Until next time!